Julie

My Story is about John

 

This event took place from 24 May 2014 to 25 September 2014

 

The Discovery

It was discovered because of a trip to the ER for continous heartburn that had been going on for about 2 months

 

This is My Story

My fiancé, my daughter’s dad, only 43 years old, was diagnosed memorial day weekend 2014 and passed only 4 months later. He was diagnosed stage 4, metastasized to stomach and liver.

At first they thought it might be liver cancer and never would I wish for someone to have cancer but I was really hoping it was liver because I already knew the outcome for pancreatic cancer. He went in every 2 weeks for chemo. I believe it was about 6 hours that he had to sit in the treatment center then he had to wear a chemo pump for almost 2 days after that. Out of the 2 weeks he was lucky to get 2 really good days where he would want to get out of the house, eat, go outside, do anything but lay in bed or on the couch.

So much changed so quickly. Up until then he didn’t have the weight loss typically associated with pancreatic cancer. He didn’t have any of the typical, more well known signs. The only things that could be considered out of place was lack of energy and persistent heartburn. Well he was in his early 40’s, loss of energy happens right? About 2 months earlier we had tacos for dinner and we used fresh jalapeños (which we never did) so heartburn happens right? He didn’t mention to me it had been pretty much continuous for a few weeks. He waited until memorial day weekend to go to the ER because he didn’t want to interrupt the last couple of weeks of the school year. I think he knew something was really wrong but didn’t let on to me about any of it.

Our daughter was only 6 at the time and I felt bad having to go to work leaving them to basically take care of each other for the whole summer. Mid September came around and he noticed his stomach was looking bloated. We went to the hospital and they drained the fluid off. Two days later the fluid started building up again so that landed him in the hospital. The first couple of days was ok until the doctor came in and told us that despite the chemo treatments the cancer had spread to the abdominal wall. They could try a different chemo to try and keep that cancer at bay but he refused. Who could blame him? I certainly couldn’t. Seeing him go from the person he was to the person he had become was awful.

He spent his last 10 days in the hospital. He passed at 4am September 25th. I should have expected nothing less from the man I had been with for over 10 years, who enjoyed his weekend bonfires and beers and typically would not come in until the wee hours of the morning. We will never forget him. I will never let our daughter forget him. He will forever be missed by those he left behind.

The Impact of Time

You truly don’t realize how short time is until you find out you don’t have much left. Knowing that the time left won’t even be quality time because of the attempted treatment is even worse.